Title: Look at you
Author: tari_sue
Pairing: James/Sirius, James/Lily
Rating: PG
ADW (if relevant): n/a
Length: 640
Summary: An affair can only last till it burns out, and then life must go on
Warnings: swearing (I’m only putting that this time to annoy dirty_darella)
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything Harry Potter except for some rather tatty copies of the books.

Author’s note This is my second attempt at writing for this prompt and it just won't go down the porn route so sorry to anyone that is only looking at speedpr0nz for the porn. came well within the two-hour deadline though. The pieces go together but can be read separately, the other one is Kiss Him and is told from Lily’s pov.







Look at you, picture of fucking innocence! Sirius Black, beautiful and he knows it. How the hell you can look innocent after what we just did, I’ll never know.

What the bloody hell do you do to me? No, don’t bother – every time I leave your room I’m convinced that everyone knows exactly what it is you’ve done to me! Like they’re all sniggering behind my back, 'there goes James Potter, he’s just had Sirius Black’s cock up his bum, you can tell by the way he walks'.

Actually, I don’t think they do know, or most of them don’t anyway.

Shall I tell you who knows?

Remus. Remus knows. He can’t bring himself to look me in the eye anymore because he’s so disgusted with me. He can probably smell you on me with his wolf senses or some shite like that. He must think I’m fucking depraved, allowing you to do that to me.

The thing is, I could live with that. I could live with losing one of my best friends if it meant spending my nights with you, but I can’t lose Lily. You remember Lily, right? Incredibly pretty, long red hair, amazing green eyes, unbelievably smart? You know, my girlfriend, the love of my life, the girl I’ve been crazy about since I was old enough to realise that girls aren’t that annoying?

She knows too.

Oh Merlin, Sirius! Lily knows! My Lily, who I waited forever for her to decided I was fit to be seen with, she knows about us! I don’t know what to do, I love you, Sirius, but I love her more.

I tried to tell you, Lily’s pregnant. Yeah, I know, stupid of us right? Fucking ridiculous really – just over a year ago we were graduating as head boy and girl and now we can’t even cope with simple charms and potions.

I’ve asked her to marry me. It’s not just about the baby, never think that, I think Lily and I were always on this path – to be honest; I think you knew that too, didn’t you? You were always a little jealous of Lily.

Like it or not, I have responsibilities now, in about seven months I’ll have a wife and child and it scares the crap clean out of me, but I can’t say I don’t want it because I do, I want it more than anything, even Sirius Black – I’m sorry.

Tonight was the last time, but you knew that, right? That’s why you wouldn’t let me speak and I’m stuck here now, spilling my guts while you’re fast asleep, you lazy fucking bastard.

You’re my best friend; I don’t want to lose you as a mate. Fuck, I’m going to be a dad, I need my mates to come and save me from the nappies! You and Remus and Pete will have to come over all save my sanity. We can teach him to play quidditch and that weird feetball game that Lily’s dad is so into. We'll teach him how to play pranks – he can be a mini marauder, start of the next generation! What if it’s a girl though? Me in a house full of girls, you’ll have to save me, what do I know about girls? I guess we could still teach her quidditch and the rest, right? Do girls like that sort of stuff?

How in the name of shitting bastard hell do I get myself into these sodding situations? She told me to come in and talk to you and then ‘kiss you goodbye’ – she didn’t mention a couple of goodbye fucks too did she? She didn’t say, ‘let Sirius pin you to the wall and fuck the living daylights out of you’ or anything else we did; just 'kiss him'.


I hate being a fucking adult.





Kiss Him